Family!

This may not be the most professional picture of my family I have, but it certainly depicts the happiness and jolly beings of us in this family. What is a group?

“A group is a collection of individuals who, as a result of interacting with one another over time, become interdependent, developing shared patterns of behaviour and a collective identity.” Trentholm (2004)

I would say that the family would be the basic group in this case. People would usually denote a group as a group of friends who get along very well. But, I’d be banging more on a family as a group here. In a family, how to live effectively under one roof, those that do not end up in divorces, are characteristics of an effective group. There is support between the members of the family, just like how our parents push us to excel in school and attain our goals. At the same time, we children bringing back good results in school for our parents serve as a motivation for them to strive harder to provide a better home for their children. The surname of the family, in this case, I would deem it as the collective identity. Through their daily interaction, they become interdependent on one another in terms of security, safety, shelter, food, and social affection,  and soon develop shared behavioural standards.

Now, about a group of good friends, or even like in project work for this communications course. Has it ever wondered to you why teachers always emphasize on group work instead? (apart from having less to mark from)

Group synergy would be one good reason. It provides more input than individuals, and are more functional and effective in producing the output. As how work can be assigned to different members of the group, it provides higher efficiency with the task roles given to each member of the group to complete.

Group socialisation would be something that would actually bring out the best from the group. It is inevitable when there would be a new person who would join your “clique”. Just like the bunch of friends you hang with in school, when there is a newcomer that starts to try to hang out more with you, majority of us would try to accept her as much as they can. From being a prospective member to be checked out and approved, he/she will become a new member once accepted. He/she will only attain a full member status when it accumulates brownie points by contributing to the pack. It is a situation where the individuals and the group seek to influence each other to best meet their needs. Every member of the group would actually bear in mind each other’s interpersonal needs and try to fulfil each and everyone of it as much to their capabilities. Such as the fun communications quiz that we did the other day, it tested on what kind of person we are, which tickled me to realise what kind of group my group is from the character of each member.  I would say that my group has a fair share of each kind, so we’ll see how this project goes.

couply couply

Awww, isn’t this such a loving picture.

Valentines Day just passed about two weeks ago, so I decided I should just talk about it since its such a universal topic. Sometimes I wonder, how do couples actually know if they are the right one for each other? Or as a matter of fact, how do they even get into a relationship? I guess, physical appearances do play a big role after all, considering its impact during the early stages, with general perceptions of physical attractiveness exert a consistent positive impact on relational formation. But how do these people actually get along?

Relationships can be formed by similarities and complementaries. In some cases, we tend to form relationship with those we perceieve as similar to us as it naturally reduces the arguments and a common attitude as to their preference of activities together. On the other hand, we can form relationships with those who are completely different with us, bearing in mind that they function better together than separately, sharing all benefits together. Conflicts can arise in these cases because of the differing views and perceptions, but usually they work well in bringing the couple closer together.

There’s this filtering theory by Duck, to screen potential relational partners. This can apply to friends too, not only lovers. Through this theory, I learn that sharing information about yourself with your other half that he/she may not know is very essential in a relationship. Don’t you think this would only add spice to the relationship and make it more interesting and sustainable? This self-disclosure will exhibit trust and commitment in the relationship. For example, when you are unhappy with him/her, voice out your unhappiness! As you can tell, some partners can be daft at receiving non-verbal cues and just continue thinking that everything has been alright all along. You wouldn’t want that too, right!

In my previous case with a former ex-boyfriend, this would be the crux of the problem I would say. Everytime there was unhappiness or conflict over a matter, many times it wouldn’t be resolved but instead just chucked aside instead, brewing up all the unhappiness inside and hiding it. To be able to tolerate the other party is totally different from being the “good” one and giving in. We never knew there was so much grudge growing inside that one day when we both reached our threshold, we just exploded at each other and that was when all the unhappiness was voiced out. I would deem the relationship as an unhealthy one, and I really hope that there aren’t too many other couples in the world like that! :/

with friends and family, form a relationship based on similarity and complementaries. apart from lovers, even as friends we apply the filtering theory, and its impt to have self disclosure. personal experience of why broke up with ex boyfriend, no meeting of relational needs, over-benefitting will rationalize. Computer mediated communication does indeed has its drawbacks, you can’t bring forth tones very well, and our misunderstanding was partially due to that very same reason too.

What would you think?

This is going to be a short one, about an experience that got me thinking.

Just the other weekend, my relatives came to Singapore from abroad to visit us and we had to take them around. And needless to say, the geylang food and walk experience was essential. Despite geylang having a protocol of being a “red light” district, the food there is just amazing. Okay, but the focus isn’t on the food.

As we walked along the streets of geylang, spilling with the young China girls and the “mama-sans” calling out to the men, I shuddered at the thought of being in their shoes. There’s this terminology of these young China girls being “hookers”, a name that I feel sounds terrible and degrading. But for many of these girls, it will just be another legitimate job. Some of these girls may not even have chosen this job willingly, doing it out of desperation and other possible reasons. But, as we blessed people do not have to worry so much about the financial issues, we do not realise the pain and difficulties that they have to go through. And this got me thinking. Lets say we were in their position, desperate for money just for survival. Would you even bother thinking so much about your reputation and how other people would look at you? This would be a typical tendency in perception to have self-serving bias. We will judge ourselves more tolerantly than we judge others by over-emphasizing situational explanations for our own negative actions. I believe that until we are really in that situation itself, we will never know how the other party is actually feeling and we should never be too quick to judge.

“No matter what situation I’d be in, I’d still never consider prostitution as an option to earn money.”

Isnt this statement just so relatable and something almost everybody would say? Like I said earlier, I really believe that until you are in that desperate situation, I really would think that prostitution will come into your mind. This is where we, as humans, always make this fundamental attribution error, to assume the cause for behaviour is the person, not the situation. We would think that it is really up to the girls’ decision to choose a proper job to earn money for survival, to not choose to sell your body in a way. But we have to bear in mind the situation the person may be in afterall. It is really not nice as to how we’d prototype these girls as just people with no dignity. I wonder, if I were to ever be in that situation, would I ever consider it?

You’re a gem if you’re not superficial.

Isn’t it important as to how you dress and the way you portray yourself? It is indeniable that people are often perceived by their external appearance. But nevertheless, we percieve our surroundings, experience and communication differently for each and every one of us, and it can be influenced by social factors too such as the media.

“Perception is the process of selecting, organizing and interpreting information in order to give personal meaning to the communication we recieve.” Seiler & Beatl, Communication Making Connection, 1999:31

 Taken from: http://www.12ghosts.com/support/awards/geeks.jpg

Take this picture for example. If someone were to wear big glasses with high pants, people would immediately jump to think that you’re a boring person and probably those who bury themselves in books all the time, commonly referred to as a geek. This is a typical example of a social stereotype represented by the media, showing a generalization of geeks in movies, to give people a perception on his character. But for all you know, he could be just a simple minded guy who just has bad fashion taste!

Now, if we look at this picture, most of us will think that this outfit is too revealing. This would be due to the religious differences all over the world. In most muslim and Chinese countries they will find this too revealing for ladies to wear as it is a taboo because women are supposed to cover every inch of their body except face, hands and feet in many cultures. Even those of Chinese culture, those who come from a reserved family background may perceive this model to be cheap. However if you come from a more open country such as the US, this scene would be common and accepted anywhere, especially at the beaches where even some females just go nude. We have all different scripts in our cognitive schemata for people. It is a basis for assessing how a person is supposed to act and what they would be like.

In this case, a rising number of modern women are starting to dress like this and its becoming more of a norm. In those laidback countries, this attire for women would be unacceptable as cowboy jeans and a jacket would deem fit for a male to wear instead. Women always had the prototype of wearing a skirt and blouse. However, for those who are more open to contemporary fashion, they would find this bold, and interesting.

Just like seeing seeing someone on the street carrying branded products from top to toe to someone driving past in a Ferrari, what would you think? Its an unavoidable human instinct to have personal stereotypes, idealized representations of certain types of people. These luxury items would only show wealth of a person.  People will instantly perceive such a person to come from a well-to-do family background or maybe an important person in society with characteristics of a spendthrift. But people can fail to take into account other possibilities, such as this person could have just spent lavishly on the luxury goods and is currently in debt?

2-D fun!

In a time when technology is so advanced that we take it for granted, even the entertainment business cannot be spared of its rapid advance. We have relied so much on technology to convey our interpersonal messages, that it is also taking over the medium of film that we grew up falling in love with. 3-D animation in the movie theaters are getting more common nowadays, and you see one or two of this kind of movie every month these days. Children in the new generation seems to prefer the new 3-D animation, examples being Finding Nemo, Happy Feet and Ice Age, simply because of the kind of depth and vibrance it can achieve in contrast to traditional 2-D animation. Even though it may be considered as an advancement in the world of cinema, I don’t feel that it does the genre any good if you are going to overdo it.

Sometimes, 2-D animations are simply better than 3-D ones. With live action, we have real actors and actresses, and in 2-D everything is just hand drawn a page at a time. Being 3-D just puts the film on the fence, not knowing whether or not to be fake like a cartoon or real like live action. Persepolis is a step back to the roots of animation, and at the same time a step forward as well. By choosing to tell the story in black and white, like the graphic novel it was adapted from, the film not only showed much depth but also a kind of style that was lost ever since 3-D took over.

Persepolis is a poignant and coming-of-age story about Marjane Satrapi, the youngest daughter of an ordinary Iranian family, trying to survive the civil wars within the country itself during the Islamic Revolutions, and then running away from its oppression to get used to the life outside of Iran. Due to the constant oppression of Islamic women and the hunting of political extremists in the country, Marjane’s parents thought it to be unsafe for her to remain in Iran. Only a teenager then, she was sent to Vienna for further educations, and that was where she started learning various different cultures, and how she learned to standup for her rights and her beliefs as she returns to Iran a few years later. In an attempt to document the stories that occurred back home in Teheran, or Persepolis in Greek, Marjane decided to write her story and transform it into a graphic novel with the help of artist Vincent Paronnaud, and then subsequently into this animated film that won the critics over all around the world, including the Grand Jury Prize at the Cannes. 

The film’s strict and consistent adherence to the style of the graphic novel is both simple and powerful to look at. The simplicity of it all ensured that the story does not become filtered, and maintained its chokehold on the attention of the audience. By choosing to present the story in this manner as oppose to making this film into a live action movie, it remained faithful to the graphic novel as well as the message of this film. This method of presentation gives the freedom of expressing various scenes that could not have been done otherwise. For example, the scene where Marjane sang to Eye of the Tiger was enjoyable, almost like a musical of sorts. That is not to mention the fantasy-like sequence that involved Marjane imagining her cheating ex-boyfriend as some kind of geek from Hell. As it is the case for most black and white films, the lack of color takes away the possibility of being distracted from the story line, and it becomes easy in a subconscious way to be completely immersed in the story, even if the most of us aren’t going to understand a single word of French.

Despite portraying a political situation that happened in the 1980s, it is not difficult to relate it back to the modern day context. In fact, the resemblance between the war in Iraq can’t be more striking than what we have in this film, being all so relatable to us. The film showed the horrors of war, the consequences it has on the people who dared to stand up for their rights and freedom, and also the loved ones of those brave people that perished in the war.  This film is not only an examination on the consequences of war and oppression, but also a cross-cultural in nature as well. This further proves that animations don’t necessarily have to be for children, but also something that adults can draw a message from.

Persepolis is a great success, simply because it handled a heavy and dense topic in a graceful and delightful manner that couldn’t be put across to viewers in a better way. Through the simplicity of the graphics as well as the perspective from an ordinary girl in an ordinary home, the story becomes even more realistic and, in a way, disturbing because of its familiarities. Persepolis is a great and refreshing take on not only the world of animation, and addressed the cultural issues that we face on a day to day basis in a way that not a lot of other films could have done.

Did you really get it right?

Words, I feel are more powerful than any weaponry mankind has the ability to make. And a saw pointed at you or a gigantic tank is not even going to be half as detrimental as, say, a bunch of reckless words. Ever heard of how the emotional pain can surpass the physical pain?

Words have the power to make or to break, since words will immediately surround us from our birth to this world, or languages which is made out of words. The same can be said about human relationships, and how the strongest of bonds may not stand the smallest of words. It doesn’t take much to break apart a relationship, a friendship, because all it takes is a word spread through the mouths of others to make that happen. It is a complicated thing, this whole human relationship thing, how people from different walks of life are supposed to come together and have a mutual understanding. I would suppose that is something none of us can ever say with full confidence that we have a strong grasp on. I’ve met so many different people throughout my life, and have had conflicts with almost every single one of them, one way or another, simply because I’m also not a perfectionist in it. But then again, I don’t suppose anybody can say that they are one, when have we not been in the same situation before?
I have come across a dozen different reasons why people might have had misunderstandings with one another, with me, or myself with somebody else. It all comes down to words being passed through a third party most of the time, and they are never very pleasant to the ears. Amplified and distorted, they usually become more dangerous than guns or knives, but it’s not entirely the fault of the third party involved either. I mean, as friends in a community, I do suppose it is a risk you have to take when saying a certain something to someone, a risk that involves the possibility of somebody else finding out. It is impossible to prevent, undeniably scary, and completely inevitable.

 This reminds me of an incident a while back, a misunderstanding that was inevitable but yet expected. 

I walked into the girls toilet in our school and overheard a conversation between two other girls that went like this;

Girl A: Did you hear about what happened with Seline? I thought she’d be different but she’s still a slut afterall.

Girl B: What about her? She’s nice to us you know.

Girl A: I heard she slept with this guy who actually paid her for it! The guy agreed to her pact to not leak out anything about it but you know, being man, he told his friends who obviously spread it. I wouldn’t think the guy had any reason to lie about this anyway.

So, that was the gist I just needed to share. To make matters worse, I am good friends with Seline. So hearing this about her came as a blow to me. Moreover, the news were spreading like fire and my other friends questioned me about it too. I didn’t know what to think of it and honestly, at that point in time, I had my doubts about her credibility. If I weren’t her good friend, I would have believed it readily. I decided to question her about it and I am so glad I did just that. She clarified matters with me and I realised that the guy had indeed spun a tale just because Seline had rejected his “offer”. From this incident, I learnt to always keep an open mind and never rush to conclusions based on our five senses alone and decipher our personal bias, like how my other friends failed to do so. There’s always the benefit of doubt! (:

The wonders of technology!

I happened to stumble upon this advertisement for 3G phones when I was phone-hunting online, trying to find that perfect miniature gadget for me. Okay, only maybe miniature compared to the huge bulky ones from 20 years ago, but those 3G phones are already considered the bigger ones of the lot in the market now. I never understood why so many people can accept carrying such a bulky thing which you can’t exactly put into small pockets of your jeans, but after seeing this advertisement, I finally understand why.

Even though I’m not an avid fan of 3G phones, but after watching this advertisement, I must say I am impressed at how fast techology has improved over the years.

Okay firstly, I’m one that finds it hard for a good interesting advertisement that will capture my attention and allow me to talk about it. To me, I would say that an advertisement is only effective when it brings out the main idea clearly and easily, when the main focus are the benefits that people will receive and not only the features of the product. Afterall, Singaporeans are all “kiasu” people and everybody’s just getting more and more practical these days. Most importantly, it has to be relatable to a great extent, for the audience to believe in it.

In this case, I feel that this advertisement has attained every one of my criteria of a good advertisement. I will explain why in the following.

Am I right to say that before the commentary for the advert starts, you’ll start thinking “oh man, its just another boring advertisement”? That would be due to the fact that they started off with an office building and a typical office lady walking down the street. But the subsequent short scenes in different contexts were presented in daily life situations that can amazingly relate to the masses, be it of their different needs of the 3G handphone. From businesswomen away from her family on an overseas trip, to businessmen getting updated on the latest news to “build his success”, to the young adults able to “rock to the beat” or watching a concert on video, to the latest soccer updates, doesn’t it just appear that with your 3G phone, almost your needs and wants can be fulfilled? This brings everyone over the world to a common ground. I especially thought the first scene with the business woman video conferencing with her daughter was the most endearing and relatable. Her words “I can smile through great distances” was really endearing to invoke a feeling of content. In the past, when these high-tech gadgets weren’t born yet, I could only communicate with my mum through the phone to hear her voice. But now, I’m sure as many parents go on an overseas business trip, they will not need to feel so distant from their family! With so many useful applications of the 3G phone now, it is no wonder that its not rare that there is an integration of technology in our everyday lives to create and exchange information.

Not to forget, thumbs up on how they work on their persuasion appeals! If you realize, many advertisements just doesn’t make sense at all. But I think this particular one has the ability to portray the logical content of the video, to clearly convey through what is communicated. It is also appealing to our emotional side as it touches on many people’s lives and possibly solving alot of hassle for many with the reliable applications. I can dare say many will appreciate this new technology for sure, since convenience is everything that matters now. Moreover, the ethos objective is also substantiated with the credibility of its brand starhub, a world wide reliable company. At the end of it, you see in a flash many “hubs” and the words”you can” and their signature starhub logo. As we can see from the advertisement, they are daring enough to portray all the fantastic applications that one can use from the phone. Starhub by one, has already built up their reputation over the years for their reliability and convenience, which hasn’t failed to keep their loyal clientle.

After analysing the whole video, it dawns on me that effective communication is done throughout it. Their message of “everything will come together when you Hub” is clear, with all the different scenes with benefits that one can easily posess now. So, despite the size, would you consider buying a 3G phone?